Sayang sama dia

Rasa itu memang tak boleh dikawalkan..perasaan sayang itu pasti hadir. Sungguh perasaan disayangi itu sangat indah. Tapi untuk mengucapkannya, mak aaaiii berat sunggu. cukuplah aku merasai indahnya.
Dikelilingin insan yang tersayang amatlah indah. Bukanlah niat diri ingin buat si dia rasa susah hati dengan apa yang kita lakukan. Tapi deep inside, I really wanna do it. That is how it feels like. I want to do it for you, because I care. And if it is the least thing that I could do, that that is what exactly I'll do for you. Because I Love You, Because I care about you.

It has been a long time since I feel this way. Since my high school maybe. The previousme was caring and always concern about others. Especially to person who close to me. I am sensitive about the, Whenever they need me, I'll be there. Name it where and just tell me when, I'll try my best to be there for you. Because your existence is so important to me. What you feel towards me is my main concern in this friendship. When you are in pain, I want to be the one who give you the medicine and comfort you through. When you are in doubt, I want to be there for you. If I can't give solution, at least I am there for you.

But that feeling slowly disappear. Slowly fading away. I dont know when, and I dont know how. But it does happens. Long time ago. Wothout realizing it, I am turning into a cold person. I dont know how to share what I feel. I dont how to comfort others. Emm thinking about it, was it my fault back then? I did tried to do the same in the 'institution' I was in, butt it just dont turn out well. My new circle of friends is no longer have the same personality like I do, no longer share what they feel, and no longer show how they care. So I end up to closing myself to others, to the rest of the world. And I am now become the sort of 'new' me. For few months, it does feel awkward, but somehow I manage it. And that is how I survive for the rest of 2 years there.

It wont simply stop there. It continue here as well. Awkward me. Cold me. But, still, I survive that way. And I have no problem with that. But I feels like a lonely world thou. And this year, a miracle happen. I begin to feel my oldself again. AAAAAAAAA I miss my oldself, like seriously. This year, Allah give the opportunity to change. He gave me a person that I can talk my heart out. A person that I can talk casually, freely, and let the real me out. Praise to the Almighty GOD. A feeling that I can't describe. But deep inside, I can feel it, I am grateful for this precious feeling=D I dont want to loose it again, I want to cherish it. The feel of being loved by others and you want to return it back. And now, for HIS sake. For HIS blessing. I want the ukhwah I feel now, at this moment, is because of HIM. I couldn't do anything to get their heart, but He did His part for me. And He let me feel the Love again, because of HIS mercy. Alhamdulillah..

"And brought together their hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have brought their hearts together; but Allah brought them together. Indeed, He is Exalted in Might and Wise."[8:63]

If only you know how precious you are to me. If only you know how much I love you, If only you know how much I care about you. But it is something to be feel, hardly describe. But I hope, my action speaks louder than word. Never feel that you've burden me, because that is what I want to do. That is the least I could do. At least, allow me, for these few time I have left. I'll try best, Insya Allah.

Kesibukan Anda, Alternatif Anda

Kesibukan ku,
kesibukan mu,
masing-masing hanyut dengan urusan masing2..
tapi tak semua boleh terus tsabat dalam perkara yang dibuatnya,
tika perasaan jemu itu datang,
apa yang kita lakukan??

kita manusia, bukan robot,
punya rasa, punya jiwa,
bila kebosanan itu datang apa yang terlintas difikiran kita yerr?
shopping kah??movie kah??chit chating kah??
sukar mempunyai jawapan yang exact
kerna setiap dari kita punya personaliti yang tersendiri..

Tapi sedarilah duhai diri,
bila rasa itu mendatang,
pilihan itulah menentukan siapa kita sebenarnya,
pilihan itulah yang menentukan pada siapa kita mencari ketenangan itu,
jika movie pilihan kita, mungkin pergantungan kita belum sepenuhnya kepada Allah,
jika shopping itu mententeramkan, mungkin berjumpa denganNYA masih belum menjadi kesukaan kita,
bila menalifon ibu yang difikirkan, mungkin kita belum cukup mengadu kepada DIA,
Benarlah kata itu, iman itu yazid wa yankuz

Ya! aku jua pernah seperti itu,
munkin pada ketika ini, masih ada saki baki itu,
tapi aku tak ingin mengalah,
aku ingin bermujahadah,
mengingatinya tiap masa,
tiap detik,
memikirkanNYA ditiap jantung berdetak,
Sukar! Benar!!!
tapi itulah mujahadah,
kerana syurga itu mahal harganya

Angin yang Bertiup

Fuuhh, angin bertiup kencang lagi hari ini,
sejak dua menjak ini, begitulah keadaannya,
mungkin tentera Allah ini dihantar unutk menggugurkan daun2 yang tersisa,
memandangkan telah hampir tiba masa untuk winter menjelma,
begitulah lumrahnya, pergantian akan terus berlaku,
malam berganti siang,
autumn diganti winter,
hidup berakhirnya mati,
segalanya punya aturan yang tersendiri...

merasakan angin yang bertiup merupakan nikmat Allah sebenarnya,
tanda masih wujud Allah meskipun tidak dapat dilihat,
tapi boleh dirasakan kehadirannya,
merasakan cinta, meskipun kelibatnya tiada,
Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah

Disebalik angin yang bertiup, turun pula gerimis menyentuh pipi,
ahh perasaannya lebih indah lagi,
jika tadi hanya angin yang menyapa,
kini titisannya dirasai,setitik demi setitik,
rasa disentuh dan dibelai oleh Allah seketika,
sebelum hujan menyembah bumi,
ahhh indah sungguh gerimis ini,
kasih sayang yang halus,
ingatan yang tulus,

Bayangkan jika Allah menurunkan hujan itu seperti simbahan baldi,
benar hujan diturunkan menurut sukatan yang sesuai,
berpadanan dengan apa yang patut diperoleh oleh bumi yang tandus itu,

"Dan Yang menurunkan air dari langit menurut kadar (yang diperlukan) lalu Kami hidupkan dengan air itu negeri yang mati, seperti itulah kamu akan dikeluarkan (dari dalam kubur)." (43:11)

jadi bisa saja Allah menyimbah sebaldi air jika itu yang diperlukan,
tapi tanda kasihNYA, dia kirimkan dalam bentuk hujan yang menitis,
subhanallah:)
Dialah Yang Maha Teliti,
Maha Pengasih,
Maha Penyayang,
segalanya telah tersedia indah buat KITA

gantilah sedikit demi sedikit

Setiap hari tengok kuku di ibu jari ni. tapi xfaham jugak, dok fikir2 apalah ibrah yg boleh di ambil..alhamdulillah satu hari di beri ilham oleh Allah hehhe
sementara menanti kuku baru tumbuh, kuku lama tidak terus tercabut, meskipun kuku baru masih sibuk memanjangkan diri, bergelut untuk terus penuhkan ruang kulit bagi menggantikan kuku lama yang mulai rosak. kadang-kadang, intai jugak di bawah kuku ni, ada ke x kuku baru, dah siap ke belum kuku ni? cuba digerak-gerakkan, alhamdulillah sedar tak sedar dia dah hampir siap
sebenarnya dalam hidup kita macam tu jugak. sometimes we want to get rid those nasty jahiliyah deep inside us. but we know its hard to forget, even harder to stop doing it. But who ask you to get rid 100% in 10 seconds? Thats even make it worst. Just like the kuku yang mula memburuk ditarik terus. Ouch! couldn't even imagine it. That's why Allah design it to change gradually as He is the best best planner.
We know the urgency to replace it, so take it slowly. bit by bit. Do two things at once. Replace and remove. Then without realizing it you actually almost get rid it successfully without hurting it, insya Allah.

“Bertaqwalah kepada Allah di mana saja kamu berada, dan gantilah keburukan dengan kebaikan, niscaya dengan kebaikan akan menghapuskan keburukan dan bergaullah dengan manusia dengan ahlak baik”

(Hadist Riwayat Ahmad dan Tirmidzi).