Hannah: Bahaya memukul anak 1-2 tahun

Minggu lepas saya ke JB, menghadiri majlis perkahwinan sepupu. Di majlis seronoknya adalah berhimpun sanak saudara. Disinilah kita berkumpul dan bertukar cerita. Dengan kenduri ni bertambahlah frequency pertemuan kan, kalau tak maunya setahun sekali jek waktu raya jek.

So during last kenduri, i met one of my cousin and she asked, "Hannah still pukul orang lagi? " and saya pun macam terpinga-pinga. Kenapa agaknya akak ni tanya macam ni yer.

Puas saya recall barulah teringat, waktu raya puasa hari tu hannah ni gemar benar pukul orang. Kalau tak puas hati, macam berebut mainan ke, mulalah dipukul manja orang tu. Adoi, salah tu nak

Maka saya pun pikir2lah kenapa and bila agaknya hannah ni mula memukul? Apa yang trigger dia acting begitu?

Otak kanak-kanak umur setahun ni ibarat sponge, segala apa yang kita lakukan, dia akan capture dimemorinya. Sampai tiba masanya, kita akan nampak lakonan semula. On top of that, kanak2 ini masih tak dapat bezakan bagus atau tidak sesuatu perkara tu, maka semua akan ditirunya sahaja.

Jadi sebagaimana ibu bapa lain, saya percaya kita kena mendisiplinkan anak sejak kecil. So kalau hannah ni berebut mainan ke, saya akan pukul manja tangan kecil tu. Kalau dia tumpahkan makanan, saya pukul halus lagi. Niat suci dan murni saya adalah supaya dia tahu perbuatan itu salah, aka misbehavior.

Tapi, kids being kids, she doesnt know that. Apa yang dia belajar dari action saya adalah, kalau kita marah kita pukul. So i believe dari situ dia mula memukul orang.  Astaghfirullah. Silap besar saya.

Saya mula risau,  #sangat risau sebenarnya. Takut dia terbawa-bawa dan sakitkan orang lain.

Then from there onwarda saya tukar strategi. Bila ada misbehavior yang dia lakukan, saya akan cakap dan pandamg tepat ke matanya. Saya akan cakap hal itu salah, kemudian minta dia cakap sorry. Then saya akan peluk hannah erat dan usap belakangnya. Ada ketikanya hannah akan menagis bila cakap sorry dan dipeluk tu. Saya plak rasa bersalah :🐱

Tapi alhamdulillah, slow2 saya nampak dia sudah tidak memukul orang. Dia lebih tenang dan tidak melawan. Alhamdulillah

Dan kita parent, sama2 belajar, refleks dan ubah pendekatan mendidik anak kita. There is no one absolute answer in educating our child, but most importantly we must solve things and find solution using various approach.

Dan palimg utama, inilah anak pemyambung pahala kita bila kita tiada kelak, moga dirimu menjadi anak solehah hannah 💟

Hannah: 0n ice cream and videos

Thinking of noting this here. Its for my reflection and may it benefits to those who came across this, insya Allah

Currently hannah is approximately 1yr 9mo. She is a cheeky little girl and been trying putting up some words together. Sometimes she would just repeat after what people talk and it broughts us to laugh. It is so much fun looking at how fast she has grown up. She understand simple instruction and now she even can give us instruction like, 'atok, ice cream ' (read: atok i want ice cream).

Currently she loves ice cream and sweet things like chocolate and lollies. And its NOT GOOD as she dont even turn 2 yet. At this age she dont drink enough water yet and not even wash her mouth and teeths regularly.

And i am start thinking where she learn to eat all these. Living in a hostel environment, she have been receiving lots of loves and care from the sisters, that includes through lollies and ice cream and junk food too. She had her first butterfly ice cream from one of the sister and surely she fell in love with it. From that on she would drag the 'kakaks'to the koperasi to get one. Then, me as a mom was at fault too. Its kind of habit that i like to buy ice cream at petrol station, normally i do it when i drive alone. But on that particular day, i brought hannah in and buy one. There you go, good job umi. So now, she would associate petrol station with ice cream.

So, dear mom, just bare in mind, your action speaks louder than words. And on top of that, kids' brain is like a sponge or camcorder , they absorb and seriously remember every little thing you do. Its just a matter of time you will see they will repeat and replay it in front of your eyes.

Same goes to videos, sometimes you may think before putting your kids in bed, you want to show some good videos, just because you believe kids will learn in their sleep yadda yadda yadda. But for hannah, her eyes will widely open and she will want another video after another. She will rela tahan mata than sleep. Oh dear 😱

One night, i did that. And lucky me she sleep after few videos. Then the next day, she asked for my phone too before going to sleep. I was like, "huh, do you remember what we did last nite". So dengam azam yang kuat,  saya tekad tak nak bagi malam tu. Maka meraunglah die dalam bilik. But let her be, after some time, she was tired and go to sleep with tears on her cheek.

As kids love routines hence why dont make reading as a habit. Its good and its a signal that they need to sleep after the book session finish.

Its not that we should BANNED sugars and videos too them as they love them and so do you. But take note to this

1. Kids learn by example
If you dont want them to do it, then you yourself first must stop doing it. ex: using phones in front of your kids and eating ice cream

2. Early exposure will lead to habit
Expose good things early like reading, tooth brush, helping at the kitchen as it helps nurtiring good values in them. But that does not includes chocolates and videos k

3. Discipline
I came across with this phrase and i kinda like it. "we should determine what our children do and like, not otherwise"
Meaning, we shouldnt ask, "danny would you like to eat rice or mee? ", instead we ask them to. Options only given in other situations when necessary.
Situation
Hannah: umi, can i watch shark doo-doo
Umi: no hannah shark already go to bed

I tried to give syarat like
Hannah: umi, can i watch shark doo-doo?
Umi: ok hannah, only ONE more k
Hannah: *nodding* and replied, ok mi
==> after video finished
Hannah: umi, can i watch shark doo-doo?
Umi: no more
==>crying

Maybe at this age she still dont understand the terms and conditions, yet. Soon insya Allah

May Allah ease our journey and guide us to be a better parents for our lil kids. May Allah too guide us to groom and be a better khalifh for the ummah, and at the same time a soleh wa mosleh servant Allah