How my Blog started:)

Writing has never been my passion. Or thing that I am obsessed about. Its hard to let others see thru what I am thinking and how I reflects things around me. Maybe that is why I hardly speak or hardly share my inner thought. My dad know this little habit of mine will result in a bigger problem. So this little blog idea came from him. On early 2008, 5 years ago, i were about to further study abroad and he suggested me to keep updating each and everyone of us of what is happening around me. Sort of prove of existence hehe:) and from that day onwards, I write and write. For the first few years I update my trips and what I see around me. Maybe from there I learn to share my thought, bits by bits. Maybe no one is reading them, and I know the only reader yang SETIA is my dad:) Without rasa bosan, he replies me, ignoring my bad english, patiently replies each and every post I made make me feel appreciated, he allows me to think differently, broaden up my view and the way I reflect things. and from there I learn to think, share what I see, what I feel..bukankah erti hidup it pada memberi:)

And thank You abah for guiding me thru all the way..see me thru and guide me to be a better person..no one could see me better than you do:) Jazakillah Khair kerana bersabar dengan kak long selama ni..moga Allah memudahkan segala urusan kebaikan abah, di dunia dan akhirat..sayang abah hingga syurga insya Allah

Happy Birthday Abah:)
Love You, Always, Now and Forever:)

Ingin Berlari Pulang

Apabila cuti menjelang seperti ini, hati meronta-ronta ingin terbang pulang. Terbayang-bayang hilai tawa satu persatu
Senyum manis terukir disetiap wajah
Pelbagai perkara yang ingin dibicarakan
Bibir ringan menutur kata bersenda gurau
Ku terkenang
Ku rindu
Masya Allah, indah sungguh perasaan kasih sayang yang DIA kurniakan
dengan kasih, hati jadi senang
dengan cinta, taman hati sentiasa ditemani bunga-bunga indah
Namun alangkah ruginya jika cinta itu tidak disandarkan semata-mata kerana-NYA

Teringat kata-kata seseorang, "kenapa anda sayang ibu dan ayah anda?"
Mestilah sebab ibu ayah dah melahirkan dan membesarkan saya
dah jaga saya susah, beri saya kasih sayang etc etc etc
Kemudian soalan yang sama ditanya kepada Alex (for example)
Dia pun memberi jawapan yang seakan-akan dengannya
Hmm jadi apa bezanya seorang muslim menyayangi keluarganya dengan seorang non-muslim
sedangkan kita tahu seorang muslim itu lebih istimewa daripada yang lain?
Apa yang membezakan kita dan dia adalah kenapa kita melakukan perkara tersebut

Lebih molek dan indahnya kasih sayang itu jika kita sandarkan kepada Pencipta yang Satu
Kerana-Nya lah kita disini, dan kerana Nyalah kita dapat mengecapi kasih sayang itu,
kerana DIA lebih dahulu menyayangi kita
sebab itulah DIA meminjamkan keluarga yang kita amat sayang itu kepada kita
SWEETNYA ALLAH
Jadi kita menyayagi ibu ayah kita kerana Allah suruh kita taat kepada mereka
kerana mereka adalah Nikmat yang amat Indah dia berikan kepada kita
ALHAMDULILLAH
Dan kerana itu kita sayang sangat dan hormati mereka sangat sebab kita cintakanNya

الْمُتَحَابَّوْنَ فِيْ جَلَالِيْ لَهُمْ مَنَابِرُ مِنْ نُوْرٍ ، يُغْبِطُهُمْ الْأَنْبِيَاءُ وَالشُّهَدَاءُ

“Orang-orang yang saling berkasih-sayang kerana keagunganku mereka mendapat minbar daripada cahaya yang mana para Nabi dan syuhada rasa cemburu dengan mereka." Hadis riwayat Tirmizi - sanad sahih.

Masya ALlah indahnya kasih sayang itu, apabila saya sedar bahawa Allah masih memberikan saya keluarga yang bahagia ini, saya amat mensyukurinya. Meskipun saya tidak berada di sana, saya tahu Allah masih hadirkan mereka dalam hidup saya, dan kami mash dikurniakan sifat kasih sayang itu, ALHAMDULILLAH
Jadi ku pujuk hati ini, tak apa fatihah:) Alhamdulillah Allah jaga mereka semua, jadi apa y saya perlu buat adalah lunaskan tanggungjawab saya disini. Sebab itupun amanah Allah, Insya Allah

Inang Anak Perantau

Daun-daun hampir hilang kesemuanya diterbang angin.

Autumn Forest

Kini tinggal hanya sisa sahaja, itupun dah tanpak kekuning, menanti saat gugur ke tanah.
Pokok-pokok itu kulihat sepi sendiri.
Dahulunya hijau merimbun kini berdahan kosong.
Meskipun begitu, masih ada burung-burung yang sudi bertandang
menemani pohon yang sepi keseorangan.
Cemburu dengan pokok itu.
Meskipun angin sejuk yang terus-terusan bertiup, ia masih gagah berdiri.
Dan biarpun keindahan yang hampir pudar, masih ada yang menghargai kerana sedar akan jasanya selama ini.
Begitu juga hidup kita manusia, kita harus terus tabah walaupun berada di zon tidak selesa.
Harus tegar dengan segala ujian yang melanda
Kerana pasti tiba musim bunga selepas ini,
Pasti pucuk baru akan tumbuh kembali
kerana itulah sunnatullah alam ini
Musim dingin akan berakhir dan bila tiba masanya bunga-bunga akan mekar kembali
Ujian getir akan berlalu pergi namun adakah kita mampu menangani?
Jika dirasa lesu sendirian,
bukankah ada burung yang menyinggah, menyanyi riang?
sedang Musa memerlukan Harun,
apakah lagi manusia biasa seperti kita

Specially dedicated to my ABAH

Allah selamatkan kamu,

Allah selamatkan kamu,

Allah selamatkan Abah razali

Allah selamatkan kamu

Semoga kebahagiaan sentiasa milik abah dan kak long doakan agar segala urusan abah dipermudahkan-Nya.
p/s: Kak Long bawa a whole group choir to sing this song for you hehhe

Allah selamatkan kamu

To My dearest ChuJah

Chu's Birthday

I wish to have a mocca - I remember song tapi xboleh, bayangkanlah anda sedang mendengar lau mocca ok:)

mocca - i remember

I am Home

It feels good to breathe in your own hometown with your own people talking with language you were brought up in and eat food as freely as you want. Wagh it is one of kenikmatan hidup I guess. Alhamdulillah three weeks had passed since I first came back home. I was surrounded by my lovely family and I just love it. Everybody was there at the airport even though initially I only expect my mum, my dad, Fadhil and Izzah to be there. But I was touched with Eti effort to cancel her programme just to be home and celebrate I am coming home. Nana also make a splendid surprised when she suddenly appeared in front of me without my other family members knowing her coming back. And at last all of us are here, sitting together at the dinner table laughing that seems to be unstoppable and it feels great. Thank you everybody Umi Abah Nana Eti Fadhil and Izzah. Love you all deeply inside out. Thank You Allah for all the blessing you gave me, Alhamdulillah

Thank You ALLAH I am @ Home

What more can I say, I am extremely happy heheh. Being home bring a great pleasure. After almost a full day journey I arrived safely in Kuantan. Thank You to Kak Norly and Waea for sending my friend and I to the airport that night. And after 10 hours flight I safely arrived at a huge and a really nice airport, Changi International Airport.
Every inch of the space are use wisely for the fulfilling the passengers need. They proveide a free electronic chair massage, and from what I noticed it is from Ogawa, a famous brand indeed. and there are quite a lot of it, so I grab the opportunity to try once after 10 hours of walking around the Singapore city, or to be more specific, Kg Gelam area. It is a splendid day I had. Since we arrive early in the mornng, we already arrange for a long transit and have a look at the most busiest port country in the world. From what I could gather, there is at least 1 SHIP per MIN, and along the road to the city, we could see the ships fill in the sea. An interesting view I thought. And as I imagine in my head, it feels like walking in China since 77% of the Singapore population are Chinese where only 13% are Malay, 8% of Indian and another 2% are the peranakan and others. All these are from the overal 5million of people. It is not a big country, and thus not to be surprised that there are only 3 universities there and the most famous course available are business and Accounting. But what attract my attention is the low unemployment rate which is ONLY 3%. A huge different with what we see in Malaysia isnt it. And due to the low unemployement rate, the crime rate are almost zero, just like Brunei. Like some said, when people have job to do, they have money and have power to decide what kind of life they wanna be. they have the power to purchase and have a status in the community. At least not to be looking down by people around them. And when they have that, they feel appreciated and dont have to form such a crime. I guess it is quite true. Being APPRECIATED does play a big role in our affecting our minds and emotion condition. And I remembered a story bout a guy I read from net.
There is a guy who I could say as the truth seeker. He is seeking for the real meaning of life by comparing all the religion. And Islam is one of it that REALLY attract his attention and he really feel that this is truth he had been searching for. But he ONLY need one more assurance from the all mighty, ALLAH. And thus he is sitting in a room and only ask for ONE sign, anythin, before he make a decission to revert to Islam. And thus he wait patiently for some time. but nothing happen and he wait longer and still nothing appear. And after few moments, he flipped the QURAN and he opened the 55th surah, Ar-Rahman.

17. (He is) the Lord of the two easts (places of sunrise during early summer and early winter) and the Lord of the two wests (places of sunset during early summer and early winter).

18. Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?

19. He has let loosed the two seas (the salt water and the sweet) meeting together.

20. Between them is a barrier which none of them can transgress.

21. Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?

22. Out of them both come out pearl and coral.

23. Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?

24. And His are the ships going and coming in the seas, like mountains.

25. Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?

And he is completely stunt. Why shoul He asked for more since everything is in front. EVERYTHING. His blessings are all around, without a doubt. His Love are for all, even we sometimes forgot to do things He ask us. But still we are able to see, we are able to taste and still have the opprtunity to see this world, but still sometimes we still feel that nobody in this world love us. Nobody is ever care about us eventhough The CREATOR still providing us with everything we need. Just put things back to where we belong and Insya Allah you'll be fine.

Back to Changi airport. As I am waiting for the departure time, I walked around the airport and went upstairs as I found the sunflower garden. It is a small area but definetely a nice way of space management. Many are relaxing there enjoying the view while having the cigarattes before entering ( a bad way of fulfilling their time). And also they provide a small movie theatre, internet kiosk, MTV spot, game area, lots of cafes, duty free shops,; a variety of choises for all range of age. Maybe we should learn from them on how to manage the huge space we have at the airport. So that it brings pleasure to the passenger and the rest of people who came.

Happy Father's day BAH

Father's day is a very special day when we worship and show our deep love to a person called DAD. But just dont get it wrong that we only remember them on this particular date, wrong concept;) William Shakespere once said,

"It is a wise father that knows his own child."
~~By William Shakespeare (1564-1616)~~

and that is my father. He might not show his worry on me like my mom dies, but he definetely was thinking about it. Love you bah for every single little thing you did. And P.Ramlee quotation (in Ahmad Albab) is enough to show how you mean to me, it might sound like "What!" But actually it is a perfect idiom, "I love you like the existence of salt in our daily cook, without you it is INCOMPLETE IMPERFECT and only with you the taste would be just YUMMY" Not the jewellery can compare my love to you cause it is irreplacable. Love you bah now forever and always.

A Dad is a person
who is loving and kind,
And often he knows
what you have on your mind.
He's someone who listens,
suggests, and defends.
A dad can be one
of your very best friends!
He's proud of your triumphs,
but when things go wrong,
A dad can be patient
and helpful and strong
In all that you do,
a dad's love plays a part.
There's always a place for him
deep in your heart.
And each year that passes,
you're even more glad,
More grateful and proud
just to call him your dad!
Thank you, Dad...
for listening and caring,
for giving and sharing,
but, especially, for just being you!
Happy Father's Day

Cerekarama: Demi Masa

I just watched a short movie given by my elder sister Nana before flying here. It was slotted for cerekarama produced by an actress who would know by the movie full with the moral value that would bring tears to your eyes; Sheila Rusly and his husband Jinggo production. This is a typical story about respecting your parents. The son would just forget his mother after he succeed in his life and never return to his mother. What makes me even tempestuous is when he didn’t approve his mother existence. AAAGGGHHH What kind of son that would embarrassed with his mother blindness that prayed for his success days and night. Nauzubillah. Nauzubillah. Nauzubillah.

I always whished that all of us could be not just good, but a great children to our parents, amen. I am working on that and I hope so does my other siblings; Nana, Eti, Fadhil and Izzah. How our parent would always pray for their children well being, I wish I could do the same. How our parent is missing their children, I wish I could be there by her side. How our parent would hide their pain, I wish I could understand without them telling. That is all I wish. Ya Allah, make all of us be a GREAT children who would appreciate the greatest give you gave us. Protect them Ya Allah here and the day after. May all of us being able to be the SAME JANNAH, amen.

A daughter would be by her parent till they are married, and afterwards the priority will change. I wish to hide that fact. When I think of the people who are sacrificing their life for the sake of their children? Working hard every second of their life just to fulfill the family needs. Being with us on every upside and down of our life all this while. Crying, smiling and encourage us for everything we do? But I know I can’t deny the truth, and Allah knows what is best for us and for hamba-Nya. I just wish my future life partner would treat my parent as best as they could. If not just treat the most precious thing in my life just like they treat theirs. And that is all I wish for.

Battle is now begin

Leaving my family with tears falling on my cheeks, but I know I have to do it and I need to go. It is hard to leave something precious I experienced in my last three months; ear to ear smile, laugh out all I could, eating anything I want, hugging all the persons I love and what makes it valuable is I am surrounded LOVELY FAMILY that I treasure so much. Eventhough it is a hard thing to do, but I know I have to.

Coming here, facing a new challenge, meeting new people, being in a new surrounding, learning a new culture, improve myself in everything I could, that is what I am going to do. Being thousands miles away from doesnt mean my heart is forgetting you. But like other people said, 'jauh di mata dekat di hati' and the more precise quotation might be 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'. That is proven to be true through my 10 years experience leaving away from Home Sweet Home. So, take care UMI ABAH NANA ETI FADHIL and IZZAH. May all of us be a blessful family and have our own success in everthing we do; here and even more important in the day after, amin. Got to hurry for my next class. I'll update when the internet is ready. Take Care and Muahhxx. **hugs and kisses**

Quotation 1

Families are the rich soil from which we grow and to which we return for the nourishment of our roots

Pemergian

Another family member leave us behind after few weeks in hospital bed transferred from one ward to another. Innalillah Hiwainna ila hiraji’un. From Allah we came and to Allah we kembali.

Wak Lah, umi’s elder brother has always showed us how important family is. He would have gathered all his family members for at least once a month for some activities that would tightens the family bond but not to be forget a tahlil for a person who have left us.

I remembered he told us, how important family is. He once said, friendship is not a bond that guaranteed to be forever, but family yes. Friendship ended with times. When you leave high school, you leave your friend, enter university, meet new friends and might forget about your high school mate. Maybe you would in touch for several years but how long that might be you’re not sure. Who can guarantee that they will be right in front of your eyes when you are sick?

But it is totally different with family. Family bond is forever. Light our old people said, ‘air dicincang tak akan putus’. No matter how mad you are towards your family, that might be healed. After all, family is family (quoted from Shah Rukh in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna).

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh beliau. Al-Fatihah.

Celebrated Umi's Birthday

As 2008 ended, my mum age turns into a new number. Now she is 45 but still everytime she walks with me or my other siblings, everybody would say that we are sisters. I guess she is a real awet muda, isn’t she?

So I decided to celebrate it in a special way. Thus together with nana and izzah, we went around the city and search for a restaurant. We intent to eat at a Chinese restaurant like we did at Kota Bharu situated close to Ansar Hotel. I truly enjoyed the food. But somehow we only manage to find a restaurant served Thailand food, Puri Bali Restaurant. ButI guess it is still OK. So we reserved the place.

Later at night, we bring along the whole family there. Umi keep on asking with a worrying face, “Have you been here? Why we stop at this place?” And we just smile. Since Umi always said, “would it be nice if we are in Bali”. So here we are at Puri Bali, maybe it is not the same,and of course it is not, but I hope it is still OK.

We have five special dishes that night; butter prawn, kerabu mangga, ayam halia, ikan 3 rasa and some fruits as the dessert. And it was my first time to have a taste of pandanus drink. It is lain daripada yang lain. Everyone looks like they enjoy the food with a smile. Looking at everyone faces with smile is a bless. Thank You Allah for the chances you gave me to have this moment with my loved one around.

Then on 7^th January, Nana and I have another plan for Umi. We brought her to D’Navchee spa eventhough she refused about it at first. I believe every woman have a dream to be treated like a queen like they have at the spa. So I guess it is a perfect give for my mum’s birthday. We came back there after 3 hours and I could see a big difference definely. Her face now is so BEAUTIFUL. Plus dengan yang memang dah cantik, bertambahlah cantik=) Nana and I received a big hug and a kiss from her and my heart are blooming. I will remember this feeling forever, nice, warm and full of love. Thank You UMi and HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You are my mother, my inspiration, my best friend, my ALL. Semoga Usia ini diberkati Allah dan dilimpahi dengan kesihatanyang berpanjangan, amin.

The Greatest memory Have

It does take time for us to choose which one is the best memory you have. But I am sure six of my cousins only need a second to pick it up. It happened recently, on the first day of our Aidiladha celebration. All six of them decided to play footsal in the middle of the night at 11.00pm but they have no car to go with. Feeling empathy my mum decided to send them off and promised to fetch them back. But sadly and things didn’t work out. We didn’t woke up and the most sad thing is they decided to walk back home. If you think one hour is a long time to walk back, believe they took much longer time than that. They only arrive at 430 am in the morning after two hours and a half walking non-stop fro the footsal court. What along journey. I wonder what would I do if I am in their shoes? Would I decide to walk back or would I keep on dialing till people are irritated with my call? I don’t know. What I know, they have successfully made it home and I believe they will remember it in their whole life time. Walking for 2.30 hours at night underneath the stars after the tiring 2 hours footsal game, but when you do it together it doesn’t seem tiring maybe. Walking together while sharing the stories with full of hope that we will come to fetch them now doesn’t seem so bad rather than walking alone all night. But from deep in my heart, I would like to apologize. Sorry for not waking up and sorry for not taking all of you home that night and make you have a long night walk. I am truly sorry. But I hope all of you treasure the memory. Boleh cerita sampai anak cucu.

Apa yang nak gelaknya, semuanya esok menyanyikan lagu ‘adooiii’. Smua pekerjaan yang dilakukan dumulakan dengan adoi. Nak turun tangga adoi, nak jalan sikit pun adoi, sampai nak duduk pun xboleh. Kesian sungguh. Walaupun rasa nak gelak but rasa bersalah still menghambat diri. Sorry again.

But there is something that make me bother. All the kilometers they walked, only one person stop to ask and thank you for that. But the respond was so mean. He asked where they are heading to and they answered politely. But he replied, “you should walked since you are still young”. What is that suppose to mean? Why don’t you show a little sympathy and send them home. Don’t you feel worried about them that make you feel like sending them safely home? Hmm I wonder.

Final Countdown

Final countdown is finally begin. I'll be having a hectic month in this coming three weeks and after that I'll be home, HOME SWEET HOME. I just can't wait for that. Looking at the pictures my father had put on his blog, rather make me even more exited to be home. Everybody I am coming, feels like screaming to the whole wolrd (heheh am I exaggerating??)

But before that, we have to face the final sem 2 exam. My first exam is my Economics paper that will be on 3rd November and followed by Maths 253 thaught by the most interesting lecturer I have ever meet (hope to give him the best marks I could) on 5th November and after three days gap which the longest gap I will have for this final exam I'll sit for my STATS 201 exam and my last paper would be on 10th November, an applied math paper I assume MATHS 260 and thats it. and 10 days after that, I'l be home.

Thursday 20 Nov departed from Auckland International Airport at 05:15am and will arrived at Bandar Seri Begawan 09:30am and two hours later I'll be in Royal Brunei airlines again for my final destination Kuala LUmpur and expected to arrive around 13:55, 20 Nov 2008. That is only I'll reach my homeland after about 13 hours journey. But it is worth it, I sure=) Then my journey will continue from Kuala Lumpur to Kota Bharu at 6:30pm by Malaysia Airlines (MAS). See you there Umi Abah Fadhil and Ijah since Nana and Eti wont be home yet at that moment.

So I'l try my best for my final exam and hoping I will get the best result, regardless what I got on my mid term. To all my friends as well, lets do our best since our flight ticket is already in our hand and we dont have to worry about it, so lets just focus on our FINAL exam and let it be the best present before we go back home.

"Ya Allah permudahkanlah urusan kami menuntut ilmu kerana sesunnguhnya ilmu itu adalah milikmu dan hanya kepada Mu lah kami memohon di permudah kan segala urusan. Bantu kami untuk memahami, menghafal dan menjawab soalan dengan sebaik mungkin" amin

Minna san-gambatte

[monolog] Ramadhan di perantauan

rindu?

memang sangat rindu..

apa yang dirindui?

suasana berpuasa di malaysia..

seperti apa tu?

terawikh ramai2 di surau

lagi?

kesesakan bazar ramadhan

tu jeke?

keenakan makanan di malaysia..

nampak remeh jek,

namun apa sebenarnya yang dirindu?

emm sebenarnya rindu nak berterawikh bersama umi abah dan adik2 di surau..

emm sebenarnya rindu nak ke bazar bersama umi abah nana eti n fadil..

emm sebenarnya rindu nak makan masakan umi n mek

n yang paling penting berbuka bersama seluruh ahli keluarga..

tapi cuba renungkan sekali lagi

kenapa kita berpuasa?

untuk suasana puasa itu sendiri ataupun untuk mencari rendha Nya?

adakah kita berpuasa untuk mendapat keseronokan berkumpul bersama ahli keluarga semata?

nikmat ke bazar ramadhan yang hanya diadakan setahun sekali?

emm itu semua hanyalah nikmat sempena berpuasa..

"Orang yang berpuasa akan mendapat 2 kegembiraan; Ketika berbuka puasa dan ketika bertemu dengan tuhannya" [Hadis sahih riwayat Bukhari, Muslim, Ibn MAjah dan NAsai]

sebenar-benarnya kita berpuasa kerana Allah kan?

untuk mendapat redhaNya kan?

untuk merebut ganjaran Ilahi kan?

"Sesiapa yang berpuasa dalam bulan Ramadhan dalam keimanan dan pengharapan, maka akan diampunkan dosa-dosa yang lalu" [hadis sahih: Riwayat al-Bukhari #38 dan Muslim #1817]

jadi lupakan dulu buat sementara waktu..

berlumba-lumbalah kita merebut bulan bonus ini..

dimana pahala amalan wajib dilipat gandakan 70x..

dan pahala amalan sunat disamakn dgn pahala ibadah wajib..

jadi rebutlah ganjaran ini..

I miss my Tok Ayah

How do I put this. Being away, watching my tok ayah bedridden in hospital and I could do nothing. It hurts. The only I am capable to do now is cry, pray and thats all. Nothing nore and nothing less. I wish I could be there. Eventhough just staying by his side do nothing, it is much better than sitting here do nothing. But what to do. This is the fate. Semoga tok ayah cepat sembuh, AMIN.

Tok Ayah. He is a great man. At the age of 83, he has no 'penyakit' at all like all yoougster do these days. He keep his active life style, eat regularly. He even count everything he ate. Everything must be in odd numbers, nothing more and nothing less. Hahaha I guess that is the way he keep his health despite his regular routine; berkebun and riding bicycle to the mosque. I am proud of him.

Then another thing bout tok ayah. He is always smart. what I mean is that, he always wear clothes acordingly. During hari raya, he will dress smartly with his coat. He have bout six of them i think and I love when he wear his yellow coat. Then on Friday, he will wear his special fragrance. I think it is 'air 1000 bunga'. Sangat wangi=)

Sometimes I followed him to hospital or anywhere near by. I could say, it is a must that everywhere he went there must be somebody who recognize him. "Cikgu Mat??" yes, that is what people call him. That is what great bout being a teacher, jasa dkenang sampai bila-bila.

Harapnya tok ayah cepat sembuh. Moga tok ayah dberi ketabahan dan kekuatan melawan penyakit ni. Rindu tok ayah n mek sangat. Maaf sebab cannot being there.