Rasa itu memang tak boleh dikawalkan..perasaan sayang itu pasti hadir. Sungguh perasaan disayangi itu sangat indah. Tapi untuk mengucapkannya, mak aaaiii berat sunggu. cukuplah aku merasai indahnya.
Dikelilingin insan yang tersayang amatlah indah. Bukanlah niat diri ingin buat si dia rasa susah hati dengan apa yang kita lakukan. Tapi deep inside, I really wanna do it. That is how it feels like. I want to do it for you, because I care. And if it is the least thing that I could do, that that is what exactly I'll do for you. Because I Love You, Because I care about you.
It has been a long time since I feel this way. Since my high school maybe. The previousme was caring and always concern about others. Especially to person who close to me. I am sensitive about the, Whenever they need me, I'll be there. Name it where and just tell me when, I'll try my best to be there for you. Because your existence is so important to me. What you feel towards me is my main concern in this friendship. When you are in pain, I want to be the one who give you the medicine and comfort you through. When you are in doubt, I want to be there for you. If I can't give solution, at least I am there for you.
But that feeling slowly disappear. Slowly fading away. I dont know when, and I dont know how. But it does happens. Long time ago. Wothout realizing it, I am turning into a cold person. I dont know how to share what I feel. I dont how to comfort others. Emm thinking about it, was it my fault back then? I did tried to do the same in the 'institution' I was in, butt it just dont turn out well. My new circle of friends is no longer have the same personality like I do, no longer share what they feel, and no longer show how they care. So I end up to closing myself to others, to the rest of the world. And I am now become the sort of 'new' me. For few months, it does feel awkward, but somehow I manage it. And that is how I survive for the rest of 2 years there.
It wont simply stop there. It continue here as well. Awkward me. Cold me. But, still, I survive that way. And I have no problem with that. But I feels like a lonely world thou. And this year, a miracle happen. I begin to feel my oldself again. AAAAAAAAA I miss my oldself, like seriously. This year, Allah give the opportunity to change. He gave me a person that I can talk my heart out. A person that I can talk casually, freely, and let the real me out. Praise to the Almighty GOD. A feeling that I can't describe. But deep inside, I can feel it, I am grateful for this precious feeling=D I dont want to loose it again, I want to cherish it. The feel of being loved by others and you want to return it back. And now, for HIS sake. For HIS blessing. I want the ukhwah I feel now, at this moment, is because of HIM. I couldn't do anything to get their heart, but He did His part for me. And He let me feel the Love again, because of HIS mercy. Alhamdulillah..
Dikelilingin insan yang tersayang amatlah indah. Bukanlah niat diri ingin buat si dia rasa susah hati dengan apa yang kita lakukan. Tapi deep inside, I really wanna do it. That is how it feels like. I want to do it for you, because I care. And if it is the least thing that I could do, that that is what exactly I'll do for you. Because I Love You, Because I care about you.
It has been a long time since I feel this way. Since my high school maybe. The previousme was caring and always concern about others. Especially to person who close to me. I am sensitive about the, Whenever they need me, I'll be there. Name it where and just tell me when, I'll try my best to be there for you. Because your existence is so important to me. What you feel towards me is my main concern in this friendship. When you are in pain, I want to be the one who give you the medicine and comfort you through. When you are in doubt, I want to be there for you. If I can't give solution, at least I am there for you.
But that feeling slowly disappear. Slowly fading away. I dont know when, and I dont know how. But it does happens. Long time ago. Wothout realizing it, I am turning into a cold person. I dont know how to share what I feel. I dont how to comfort others. Emm thinking about it, was it my fault back then? I did tried to do the same in the 'institution' I was in, butt it just dont turn out well. My new circle of friends is no longer have the same personality like I do, no longer share what they feel, and no longer show how they care. So I end up to closing myself to others, to the rest of the world. And I am now become the sort of 'new' me. For few months, it does feel awkward, but somehow I manage it. And that is how I survive for the rest of 2 years there.
It wont simply stop there. It continue here as well. Awkward me. Cold me. But, still, I survive that way. And I have no problem with that. But I feels like a lonely world thou. And this year, a miracle happen. I begin to feel my oldself again. AAAAAAAAA I miss my oldself, like seriously. This year, Allah give the opportunity to change. He gave me a person that I can talk my heart out. A person that I can talk casually, freely, and let the real me out. Praise to the Almighty GOD. A feeling that I can't describe. But deep inside, I can feel it, I am grateful for this precious feeling=D I dont want to loose it again, I want to cherish it. The feel of being loved by others and you want to return it back. And now, for HIS sake. For HIS blessing. I want the ukhwah I feel now, at this moment, is because of HIM. I couldn't do anything to get their heart, but He did His part for me. And He let me feel the Love again, because of HIS mercy. Alhamdulillah..
"And brought together their hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have brought their hearts together; but Allah brought them together. Indeed, He is Exalted in Might and Wise."[8:63]
If only you know how precious you are to me. If only you know how much I love you, If only you know how much I care about you. But it is something to be feel, hardly describe. But I hope, my action speaks louder than word. Never feel that you've burden me, because that is what I want to do. That is the least I could do. At least, allow me, for these few time I have left. I'll try best, Insya Allah.
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